Day 30: Numbers Part Deux: Weight

Weight is always a touchy subject.  I understand why, but it still bothers me that it's so hard to talk about weight.  I guess some people like to keep such things personal, some people are embarrassed, and maybe some people just don't really care about the number on the scale.  Well, with my fitness goal a la moment, it's pretty impossible for me not to care about the number on the scale...each...and....every...morning.

I weigh 137.0 lbs and I'm tired of not talking about it.

Some people may think I look heavier, some may think I look lighter, some may not really give a damn.  But it bothers me how important the scale is to me.  I know I'm strong.  I know I'm eating healthier than 99% of the people I know.  I know I'm trying my best at this whole thing.  But I can't stop thinking about losing numbers.  And it's annoying.  And it's even more annoying that nobody really talks about weight.  It's always just, "Oh sh*t, I gained 5 pounds."  Or, "Yes!  I lost 7 pounds."  But the actual weight number is really never mentioned.  And what's even more annoying is that so many people don't even try to lose weight and they weigh less than I do.  This bothers me because I know, that for the rest of my life, I will always have to watch the scale and think about my weight.  I will always have to try hard to be fit and I will always be talking about the number on the scale.

I weigh 137.0 lbs, damnit.

I have 17 more pounds to lose in the next 5 months in order to be competitive at this competition, and I think I can get there, but worrying about my weight in my head all the time is going to get verrrrry old. 

I know a lot of you are thinking, "Oh, it's muscle and muscle weighs more than fat."  {insert incorrect buzzer noise}  If you are working out and cutting your calories, it's near impossible to gain weight.  Women, on average, who workout and diet hard, can only gain an average of 1-2 pounds of muscle per month.  So chances are the extra lbs aint muscle ifyouknowwhati'msayin.....

I weigh 137.0 lbs and I wonder how much of it is muscle.

I'm tired of thinking about weight but I know I have to.  I'm tired of not talking about weight, but who really discusses actual weight numbers as an every day conversation?  Some days I want to just shout my weight so I don't have to keep it bottled up.  Some days I'm ashamed of it.  Some days I just want to vent about the fact that my life has become consumed with numbers and one of those numbers I see on a scale every morning.  I have taken some measurements and I'll post those on a "Numbers Part 3/final" post soon.

I know it's not all about the scale.  I know I'm doing this the right way.  But sometimes I just get tired of silently worrying about my weight (well, silent except for complaining to a select few ;) ) and wondering if I can actually get to my goal weight.

I weight 137.0 lbs and I want to be able to talk about all aspects of weight and weight loss and all the numbers involved in this process.

In case you missed it, I weight 137.0 lbs right now.  We'll see what the morning brings!  Speaking of numbers, it's 8:45, 15 minutes passed my bedtime (that means I'll get about 7:45 minutes of sleep, get up at 4:45 and eat 3.0 ounces of banana before I lift....tooooo many nuummmmbeeerrrsssssssss!!!)

Speak your weight proudly!  We're all in this together, whether you're trying to lose weight or not.  We all think about it and, at some point, we all need to talk about it.

4 weeks and 2 days DONE!  19 weeks and 5 days to go :)

xoxo