While I was at the posing session (a week ago), a discussion came up about whether I would be better in a bikini competition or a figure competition at this point in my "career." She (the posing coach) explained bikini to me as "the cover of Shape magazine" whereas a figure competitor would be "the cover of Oxygen or Muscle and Fitness." She said I would probably be ready for a bikini competition in August and was not sure I'd be ready for a figure competition in September....... this began sounding allllll too familiar. This is essentially what happened to me back in the early spring when I was basically told (my someone else) I needed more muscle before I began cutting weight. In the spring, this led me to give up my figure competition training and I headed straight to the Cheesecake Factory.
So, I was encouraged that she thought I would be ready for bikini, but discouraged that I still didn't have enough freakin' muscle for figure! At this point, it was kind of a catch because I can't really gain muscle while cutting weight...right now, I'm basically cutting weight to bring out the definition in the muscle that I already have. So, I was left with 5 options:
1) Just go ahead with the September 25th figure competition as planned and see how it goes.
2) Just do the bikini competition in August.
3) Do both.
4) Bulk and gain muscle for a few months and then try for a competition in the spring of 2011
5) Run, not walk, to the Cheesecake Factory
The posing coach, who I really liked, told me to take some pictures, send them to Mike (the guy who does my workouts and diet), and see what his thoughts were. Then, I would figure out a plan and get back in touch with the posing coach to go from there. I sent this email on Wednesday and while I waited for a reply, I did some soul-searching, if you will, about what I wanted to do, regardless of what anyone else thought I should or shouldn't do. I'm not going to lie, I did consider option #5 for a hot second. Then I scratched that. Then, I started doing some research on bikini competitions and what I found I was not very impressed with. It just wasn't me. For a lot of reasons. But mainly because I am just set on doing figure--I like that physique and that has been my goal now for about 8 months. So, that left me with option #1 or option #4. I talked to Greg, my mom, and friends about the pros and cons of both and then I went to bed. In the end, I had to decide what I wanted to do. I'm quickly learning that there are so many people in this sport who give you advice and opinions and ideas, but in the end, you have to sort through it all and figure out what is right for you.
So.... I woke up the next morning and knew that option number ONE was my choice. I hadn't heard back from Mike. I hadn't talked to my posing coach again. I just knew that I had worked my ass off for a long time, I had this September 25th goal in my mind, and I could always be waiting for my body to be more ready than it is now (or will be in 9 weeks). I also know that this show is through a much smaller organization and, I think, a little less competitive than the big, major organizations, so it will be a perfect show to get "my feet wet" and learn all the ins and outs of this sport. Everybody has to start somewhere, so why not in Henrico County, Virginia on Septemeber 25th? I have to reach this goal. I just have to do it and see how it goes. I think I will forever regret it if I don't. (I did eventually hear back from Mike and he said that I have more of a figure body and if I did bikini the judges would probably say I had too much muscle. I was glad I had made my decision before he said this, but the affimation was nice too).
While it is challenging to have not really had one person in the figure world say, "Wow, you have great potentional for figure" or "Your body will get there," I know that my body is getting better and better everyday and I know that all of YOU support me so diligently! I cannot explain how much everyone's kind words have helped me push through and stay motivated. You all are absolutely, amazingly wonderful to be so supportive every day and I honestly think I would have given up if it weren't for you all.
I will continue to work to stay in the figure world. I enjoy lifting. I enjoy the sport. And I will get more muscle, damnit! :)
Oh, and I have another posing session tomorrow! I really like the posing coach, she is a HUGE help!! Greg can't come so I don't know if I will get any more pics in my sweet, black heels, but I'll let you know how it goes!!