Day 99: Traveling

Sorry I've been a little MIA lately...I have been busy traveling. First, I went to Charlottesville to meet up with my family and my Mara...who rocked out my leg and cardio workout oh heyyyyy (Hi May Ray!). Then, I went to Richmond to visit my sister and her family. And I just got back from an Outer Banks girls trip! Phew! That's a lot of driving...and Tupperware...and random gyms.

All of this traveling has allowed me to do a lot of thinking and discussing and pondering all that has happened in the past 14 or so weeks. As you all know, I don't really like change, so having to go to various gyms in various cities is not really my favorite thing in the world. Once I get used to the gym, though, it's fine. It's just always an adjustment period and then I get back in my routine.

The topic of thought and discussion often revolved around...is this all worth it? Am I happy with my progress? How am I feeling about everything? Well, the quick answer would be yes, yes, and overwhelmed at times. It's really amazing how quickly my moods and outlook on the whole thing change. One minute I'll be on the verge of tears and not really sure that everything is worth all the sacrifices, and then the next minute I'm ready to go back to the gym and bang out another workout. Thankfully, all the people I visited helped me through my weak moments and praised and encouraged me other times.

I think the "is this all worth it" is the most prominent question I have in my mind. And while I think the answer is yes, I'm not really sure I'll know for absolute sure until the whole competition is over. I mean, I know parts of it are definitely worth it, and I know I'm in the best shape of my life, but some days, especially on vacation, just really made me question everything. While most people could pack their beach bag, throw on their suit and go, I was in the kitchen preparing numerous meals in numerous Tupperware containers that would be put in an insulated bag and lugged to the beach (thanks for the bag, Mama!). Then, I have to watch the clock continuously not only to know when to eat but also to plan everything out so that I can make it back to the gym for my 2nd cardio session and time it all right with my meals. I ate a bunch of meals out of Tupperware AT restaurants...luckily the staff didn't care or seem to mind. I ate a bunch of meals (you guessed it, out of Tupperware) both on the way to and from the beach. I cooked a bunch of food while we were there...guess where I stored it all?! :)

The bottom line that I came to was this: Yes, this has been worth it and will continue to be. I made a goal and I am going to reach it. Does it royally suck sometimes? Is it royally inconvenient a lot of the time? Is it mentally exhausting? YES YES YES. But I am doing it. I'm actually doing it. I'm happy with the way things are coming along. What I have also realized, however, is that I started my strict dieting way too early. Most competitors diet for 12 weeks and when I finish I will have dieted (VERY strictly with NO cheats) for 22 weeks (I'll do the math for you, that's almost 6 months). I don't think this can really be healthy and my body is showing signs of that. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I don't sleep well at night and I hardly ever feel truly rested. I haven't gotten my period in 2 months. I keep getting bruises really easily (maybe need more iron?). I have to ice my knees at least once a day. I have to take 5 fiber pills in order to stay regular (meaning going every OTHER day) because I'm just not consuming that much food...my body is just starting to really feel the effects of everything I am putting it through. But like I said, I'm doing this. I'm reaching my goal, come hell or high water, and then I'll take some time to re-evaluate what I want to do. I hope that all made sense. I guess it is worth it in the end but some days it's just hard to keep motivated and not be sad about the things I'm missing out on. There are ups and downs, but overall it's a worthwhile haul...but I don't think I'll be taking anymore big trips between now and the competition (my Tupperware is getting tired, they told me so).

A few number updates:
6 - number of out-of-town gyms I've worked out in (Dewey, Ocean City, Richmond, Charlottesville, Columbus OH, and Nags Head)
6.5 - number of weeks left
20 - number of pounds lost
124.0 - current weight
10 - number of times I'm in the gym a week
12 - number of egg whites I eat a DAY
3 - number of eggs I dropped on the floor today :(
18 - ounces of MEAT I eat a day...yummmmmy!! Carnivore all the way, baby!
2 gallons - amount of water I *try* to drink each day
2 - current pant/skirt/dress size
1 - pair of clear, bedazzled 4 and 3/4 inch heels sitting next me (whole post on them coming soon!)

Thanks to everyone I visited for all of your support and help and patience and flexibility. I know my schedule, both eating and working out, is not easy but I appreciate you all more than you know.

xoxo