Day 129: Is it over yet?!

Hi Everyone!

Sorry it's been so long since I've written!  Life has been more than crazy lately!  Greg and I are moving out of our current house in 2-3 weeks because our lease is up the weekend after the competition, so we're home hunting!  I started back to teaching last week, today was my second day with my 5th graders, so that's another huge change!  And, I am just, overall exhausted from life! 

My current schedule is to get up between 4:45 and 5:15 (depending on the cardio program), go to the gym, get ready for school (food is prepared the night before), teach from 8:30-3:10, work at school until about 4:00ish, back to the gym to lift and do more cardio, eat, prepare food for the next day, rinse, and repeat.  In between there, I'm trying to find time to tan, go to the grocery store numerous times a week, go see apartments, and maybe get some school work in there...oh and try to hang out with my friends and Greg :)  The only possible way that I am keeping up with this schedule is because I know there are only 2 weeks and 3 days left...the countdown has officially begun (OK, so it began a looooong time ago, but now it's serious business :) )

People keep asking me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling and really my answer depends on the A) the time of day or B) whether or not I've eaten recently.  Most of the time I feel alright.  Exhausted and lethargic some, but overall pretty good.  A lot of my troubles/negative moments are mental...I think that I think about the whole process too much and it starts to make me get negative about things.  I think things like, "Why am I doing this?  I can't wait to eat like a normal person.  I'm so hungry.  I don't want to go back to the gym..."  Once I get to the gym, I'm fine.  Once I realize I made it through another day doing the best I possibly could, I'm fine.  I would not say that I am currently enjoying this whole thing, but I really want to reach this goal that I set out to achieve.  What comes after this?  I have no idea.  What happens the day after?  I eat, that's all I know :)

I have to say, honestly, I am really excited to be done with this intense process.  I have learned a lot and I want to maintain certain aspects of all of this, but this intensity is not something I can sustain, and I wouldn't want to even if I could.  I can honestly say I don't think I'm as happy doing this as when I wasn't.  Maybe it's because I've done this for 20 weeks, which is longer than a lot of people.  Maybe it's because I have a lot going on in my life at the moment and it's just too much.  Maybe it's because I've attended a lot of events/gone out to restaurants a lot to watch people eat.  I don't know.  But I'm taking it day by day and I will reach this goal.  There's no turning back now!

So, I met with my posing coach on Saturday and it was the best session we ever had.  She helped me so much, gave me such great pointers, and gave me some more confidence that I definitely needed.  She did tell me I would probably be docked judging points for my lack of muscularity (we all knew that though, huh? :) ), but we both know I'm doing the best I can with this body and this diet!  That is the last time I will see my posing coach before the competition, which is scary, but she has helped me so much, I really do feel confident that I can handle this now.

Lastly...before the pictures :)...tanning...dun dun dun (I will have to do a whole post on this soon...lots of details to share).  So, I stopped by the air brush spray tanner and she sprayed me (I think about 2 weeks ago).  She was probably one of the nicest people I've ever met.  So sweet!  During and after the spray, we both quickly realized that a spray was not going to cover up my tan lines and something else needed to be done...I know, I know...I always said I would never get in a tanning bed, but it is really the only option.  I decided that after 6 months of hard work, I really don't want to let something as silly as tan lines prevent me from doing well in the competition.  I figure if I tan in moderation, all will be OK.  I've gone a couple times and it seems to be working slowly, so hopefully it will help blend my lines enough before I get my final competition color spray tan the Friday before the show.

It's approaching 9pm, which, you know what that means...MY BED!!!!  Ohhh how I love my bed :)  Here are my most recent pictures taken in the 1-piece suit I will be wearing in the competition (after it gets altered a little).  I should be receiving my altered 1-piece AND my 2-piece by early next week, so I will definitely put up some pictures then!  Thanks for the many kind words of encouragement and I hope you enjoy the pics :)