Day 46: Clothing, Confidence, Injuries

It's amazing how quickly all of these days, weeks, and phases are flying by.  I can't believe it's already been 46 days.  Here are a few stats/updates from the past week or so.
-Weight: 133.5, have lost 10.5 lbs. total
-In the middle of week 6 overall, in the middle of week 4 of my 8-week cut.
-4 weeks to go until this phase is finished...then, the home stretch.

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So, people who know me, know that I verrrrry rarely wear shorts.  I have always been OK with the front of my legs but I've always hated the back of my legs.  (I don't think I need to remind you of what cellulite looks like...).  My legs were never even really that cellulite-y, but I just haven't really  been comfortable wearing shorts in many years, so...I don't.

As I started losing weight, losing inches, and gaining more muscle, I started to become more comfortable with my body in general.  I started wearing things, like tank tops, more often than I previously had.  I realized that my legs were getting in much better shape and I was tired of staring at my baggy workout pants (which are all 3/4 length) in the ever-present gym mirrors.  In one sense I wanted to show off the progress I had made on my legs, and in another sense I wanted to be able to see my legs better so that I could see what areas still needed work.  So I did it.  I bought a frickin' pair of shorts.  And I wore them to the gym.  OMG.  Of course I had one of the worst, and most awkward, sunburns of my life on my thighs, so I'm sure that distracted some attention from the back of my legs.  Anyhoo, I actually felt pretty good in the shorts.  I was proud that I was wearing them and I was ever more proud that I was OK with the fact that I was wearing them.

I realized that, for me, clothing choices and growing confidence are kind of a chicken-egg situation:  I mean, what came first?  Did I start putting on outfits that looked better than before, thus making me more confident?  Or did I become more confident in my body changes, thus becoming more daring with my clothing choices?  I don't really know.  I guess I probably became more confident in my body changes and started trying on things I either haven't worn in a few seasons or things that I wouldn't usually wear.  I think it really helped that a lot of the things in my closet have become too big for me to wear.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not, all of a sudden, like some slutty hooker-type, strutting around in skin tight outfits.  I just found that it was interesting the confidence that I seemed to have gained from being able to wear new outfits.  I'm proud of my transformation that has happened so far, and I think that shows in some of my clothing choices.  I'll try to take some pics of some of my gym, and real-life outfits for you all :)

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I had made it 6.5 weeks without a serious injury...until this morning.  I was doing powerlifts (think Crossfit) and on my second exercise I did a push press (barbell over my head, arms straight), and I felt a twinge in my back.  I did one more rep and I was done like a Thanksgiving turkey.  I sat down for a few minutes, couldn't really look down or look left without pain shooting down my back, cried a couple silent tears, and went home.  I tried to take a hot bath but I just couldn't get comfortable, so I showered, got ready for school, dropped 1/2 dozen eggs on the floor, tried to clean it up (just hoping I would make it back up off the floor), and drove to school without being able to turn my head to the left (thank goodness for turn signals).  One of my co-workers gave me a huge ibuprofen (thanks Selinda!!) and that really helped during the day.  I had to stand pretty erect (hehe) most of the day because that felt the best.  Now I'm home and Greg put lots of icy hot on my back.  It's really just the top 1/3 of my back, mostly on the left and at the base of my neck on my spine.  I'm hoping it's just a bad muscle pull/irriation and will heal quickly.  I think I'll be laid up tomorrow and will obviously not be at the gym tomorrow.  I was supposed to do cardio tomorrow, rest Saturday, and lift legs Sunday, but obviously that has changed.  I'm currently stuck in my recliner chair, hoping I'll be able to at least crawl up the stairs in a couple hours so I can go to bed...will keep you posted!

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Thanks again for everyone's support.  Everyone's comments, whether here or in person, mean so much to me.  I couldn't do this without all of you!!