Over the holidays, I ate gluten free pizza, chocolate, frozen yogurt, peanut butter, and Panera salads to my heart's content. I visited my family, played with my baby niece, and hung out with my dear friends. As my winter break from teaching came to a close, I was feeling a little guilty for indulging to the point that all I could wear was elastic pants. But then I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love with my parents (probably while eating frozen yogurt), on my comfy couch, in my ever-present stretchy pants. After the movie I had an Oprah "ah-ha" moment...
Now, the movie was not an academy-award winner, but the message of the movie really struck me. **If you don't want to know the ending, stop reading.** Julia Roberts finds herself in a marriage and a lifestyle that is no longer satisfying. She has essentially melded her life with her husband's life and has, in turn, lost herself. She takes a year long trip to 3 different countries to "find herself" and to find balance. Cheesy storyline, I know. But, in the end, she finds a man in Bali that she is starting to fall in love with. After weeks and weeks together he is ready for some kind of commitment and wants to begin a long-distance relationship with her as she is returning to the states very soon. She momentarily freaks out and says no because she doesn't want to lose the balance that she has found in her life...she has become independent, she has found hobbies, interests, and friends that are hers, and she seems happy. But what she realizes after she says no to her lova' man, is that balance looks different in everyone's life and it's OK if a balanced life doesn't really look balanced. Her new balance is more heavily weighted with love and relationship, but that is the balance that keeps her healthy and makes her happy.
She realized that denoting a bigger portion of her life to her new lover and their relationship didn't make her any less independent or any weaker. It just meant that her balance of life's priorities would be different than other people's and if it worked for her, and her lova, that was OK.
I know this seems a little deep for a movie that lasted approximately 3 days in theaters...but it was a message that I needed to hear right at that time. I needed to hear, if only from a cheesy movie, that my lifestyle since the competition was, in a sense, OK.
After my competition I was busy but I was also burnt out. I was tired of thinking about every bite I put in my mouth. I was exhausted from work and and tutoring for 2 hours after work, so that gave me an awesome excuse to skip going to the gym. I just...didn't feel like putting in the time and effort I needed to at the gym. I also wanted to make sure I kept up with my friends and visiting my family. Weekly dinner dates with friends, and weekend trips to see other friends and family, kept me busy...and happy. Most of the time I threw caution to the wind and went out to eat, had a few drinks with friends, ordered take-out food...and loved every minute of it. I didn't eat terribly, and I still exercised sometimes, but the balance of my life had completely shifted. And, post-chick-flick, I realized that this was OK. I didn't have to have the balance of everyone else, and I didn't have to have the balance that I had had for the past 6 months. This new balance, for the time being, made me happy. I was still healthy and I was extremely happy.
I think that people get side-tracked in their weight and fitness goals because they think that they have to be perfectly balanced (the balance that the proverbial "they" says we should have) all of the time. We are told to eat 6 small meals every 2-3 hours, exercise 5-6 times a week, have a balance of weight training, cardio, and interval training. We are told a cheat every now and then is OK And that time with friends and family is important. And don't forget that being happy at your full-time job is good for weight loss as well as a perfect 8 hours of sleep every night. Almost every fitness magazine talks about the perfect balance that we should all have. In an ideal world, this balance would be wonderful...if we all had the time, energy, motivation, money, and resources to keep up this kind of balance all the time...and remain happy. Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of all the things that "they" say we should be doing all the time to stay healthy and be successful, especially at something extreme like a figure competition. And I don't think it's possible to keep that perfect balance for very long, if ever.
I guess my point is...at different times in people's lives, their balance can be, and sometimes has to be, different. And as long as people remain healthy (maybe not competition material, but healthy), different balances can be OK. My balance over break was not 25% work, 25% family, 25% exercise, and 25% friends and Greg :). While this may look like the perfect balance, it wasn't the perfect balance for me at that time. It was more like 75% family, friends, and Greg, 20% eating, and 5% exercising. My balance during my training was about 70% exercising/preparing food, 20% Greg, 5% family, 5% friends. That balance, such that it was, worked for that time in my life.
Starting now, at the beginning of the new year, I am going to begin training for competition #2 and my balance will again shift. To what, exactly, I'm not sure. But I do know that, while my body may not be that of a super model at the moment, I am damn OK with what my balance in life has been since competition #1. I had a great time with my friends, my family, my boyfriend, and my food. I gained some weight but not an unhealthy amount, and I was able to direct my attention to aspects of my life that I had been neglecting. We'll see what the balance of this training cycle involves!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I'm Still Alive!!
Hi!!
Long time no blogging! Sorry, friends! Life has been a blur since the competition and I have severely neglected the blog. I apologize! I know some of you have kept up with my via Facebook but I wanted to update here as well and continue blogging as I figure out the next steps in my fitness life.
First of all, the competition was a BLAST! I had so much more fun than I had anticipated. The other competitors were so friendly and once I relaxed a little I really did have a good time. I measured (height-wise) in the medium category (5'2"-5'5"). I did the first round in my 2-piece suit (which arrived TWO days before the competition dontevengetmestartedabouthatone!). I was so nervous but kept my composure the best I could. I then came out and did my walk in my 1-piece suit. That was better than the first round just because I was less nervous. Then, we had a break for a little bit of the afternoon and then did our walk routine again in the evening. Strutting around to Miley Cyrus all bedazzled and tanned was all that I expected and more :)
I ended up winning my class, which earned me a trophy and a medal :). I then had to come back out on stage and compete against the winners of the other classes (short and tall). The woman from the tall category won the whole thing (they didn't do 2nd and 3rd place). I was so happy to have won my class--it really made the hard work feel worth it. Winning my class qualified me to compete at a pro show within the NPA organization. However, if I accept my pro card and compete in a pro show, I cannot compete in an amatuer show in that organization again. I'm not sure I want to close that possibility out and my pro card (earned from this competition) is good for 3 years (I think). I spoke to a judge afterwards who said I should definitely do the pro show (which was in October) but I was just not in the mindset to continue this journey...I was too hungry to even think about it! Here are some pictures from the day:
Before I update you on what I've been up to the last 1.5 months and tell you my plan for the future (which is still very unclear, don't get too excited ;)), I have to first say thank you to many, many people. I know this is a little cheesy, but without these people, this would not have happened. Thank you to:
-My family for always supporting me! My mom, dad, preggo sister, her husband, and my baby niece all came to the competition!
-Greg-- thank you doesn't even begin to express how grateful I am for all that you have helped me do...
-Mike Davies, my coach who sent me workouts and diets and helped me "bring my booty down."
-Stacy Wig, my posing coach, who took me from a complete novice to a competitor with some confidence :)
-Lisa Lutz for doing my spray tans, hair, and make-up and being SO flexible and accommodating!
-April Hickory for taking some AMAZING professional pictures of me that I will cherish forever! I will post some of those in my next post. Take a look at her website!
-Shea, my training buddy back when the thought of this competition was really just a reason to motivate myself to get to the gym. Thanks for being there from the very beginning!
-Shea, Kat O., Mikey, Sarah, Tanno, Caly, Kat K., Lolo, Cijlvere, Justine, and Mara (my coach who helped me prep backstage) for making the trek down to Richmond, giving up part of your weekend to support me...thank you! Your support has meant so much to me, you have no idea.
I know these thank-yous are LONG overdue and I apologize for that! Thank you times a million plus infinity!
So...the big question...now what?? The short answer is, I have no idea! Honestly, I'm struggling right now to figure out some kind of balance in my life, both in the gym and with the diet. Since the competition, I have put on about 15 pounds, which is fine, but it's still so weird to see my body change. I'm still trying to motivate to get to the gym, but it's so much easier to miss a gym session when a competition is not looming in the near future. I'm trying to eat clean and healthy during the week and giving myself a little leeway on the weekends. I have a whole post about balance coming up soon :)
I have toyed with the idea of doing a competition in the spring and that is still a realistic possibility. Right now though, I'm taking a break from the super intensity of it all. I'm so busy teaching 5th grade, tutoring, trying to see my family, getting settled in our new place...I am just not in the mindset that I know I need to be in to tackle the physical, emotional, and monetary needs that go with training for a competition. So, basically, I'm trying to figure out how to be a normal eater/worker-outer with possible competitions in the future. :) That's my plan right now.
One thing that has not changed is my early bedtime :) And if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know that since it's 8:30, that means it's almost my bedtime :) Stay in touch! I will do the same and keep you posted on thoughts I have swirling in my head about all of this fitness/nutrition stuff :) I also have some more pictures to share!
Happy Tuesday!
xoxo
Long time no blogging! Sorry, friends! Life has been a blur since the competition and I have severely neglected the blog. I apologize! I know some of you have kept up with my via Facebook but I wanted to update here as well and continue blogging as I figure out the next steps in my fitness life.
First of all, the competition was a BLAST! I had so much more fun than I had anticipated. The other competitors were so friendly and once I relaxed a little I really did have a good time. I measured (height-wise) in the medium category (5'2"-5'5"). I did the first round in my 2-piece suit (which arrived TWO days before the competition dontevengetmestartedabouthatone!). I was so nervous but kept my composure the best I could. I then came out and did my walk in my 1-piece suit. That was better than the first round just because I was less nervous. Then, we had a break for a little bit of the afternoon and then did our walk routine again in the evening. Strutting around to Miley Cyrus all bedazzled and tanned was all that I expected and more :)
I ended up winning my class, which earned me a trophy and a medal :). I then had to come back out on stage and compete against the winners of the other classes (short and tall). The woman from the tall category won the whole thing (they didn't do 2nd and 3rd place). I was so happy to have won my class--it really made the hard work feel worth it. Winning my class qualified me to compete at a pro show within the NPA organization. However, if I accept my pro card and compete in a pro show, I cannot compete in an amatuer show in that organization again. I'm not sure I want to close that possibility out and my pro card (earned from this competition) is good for 3 years (I think). I spoke to a judge afterwards who said I should definitely do the pro show (which was in October) but I was just not in the mindset to continue this journey...I was too hungry to even think about it! Here are some pictures from the day:
Before I update you on what I've been up to the last 1.5 months and tell you my plan for the future (which is still very unclear, don't get too excited ;)), I have to first say thank you to many, many people. I know this is a little cheesy, but without these people, this would not have happened. Thank you to:
-My family for always supporting me! My mom, dad, preggo sister, her husband, and my baby niece all came to the competition!
-Greg-- thank you doesn't even begin to express how grateful I am for all that you have helped me do...
-Mike Davies, my coach who sent me workouts and diets and helped me "bring my booty down."
-Stacy Wig, my posing coach, who took me from a complete novice to a competitor with some confidence :)
-Lisa Lutz for doing my spray tans, hair, and make-up and being SO flexible and accommodating!
-April Hickory for taking some AMAZING professional pictures of me that I will cherish forever! I will post some of those in my next post. Take a look at her website!
-Shea, my training buddy back when the thought of this competition was really just a reason to motivate myself to get to the gym. Thanks for being there from the very beginning!
-Shea, Kat O., Mikey, Sarah, Tanno, Caly, Kat K., Lolo, Cijlvere, Justine, and Mara (my coach who helped me prep backstage) for making the trek down to Richmond, giving up part of your weekend to support me...thank you! Your support has meant so much to me, you have no idea.
I know these thank-yous are LONG overdue and I apologize for that! Thank you times a million plus infinity!
So...the big question...now what?? The short answer is, I have no idea! Honestly, I'm struggling right now to figure out some kind of balance in my life, both in the gym and with the diet. Since the competition, I have put on about 15 pounds, which is fine, but it's still so weird to see my body change. I'm still trying to motivate to get to the gym, but it's so much easier to miss a gym session when a competition is not looming in the near future. I'm trying to eat clean and healthy during the week and giving myself a little leeway on the weekends. I have a whole post about balance coming up soon :)
I have toyed with the idea of doing a competition in the spring and that is still a realistic possibility. Right now though, I'm taking a break from the super intensity of it all. I'm so busy teaching 5th grade, tutoring, trying to see my family, getting settled in our new place...I am just not in the mindset that I know I need to be in to tackle the physical, emotional, and monetary needs that go with training for a competition. So, basically, I'm trying to figure out how to be a normal eater/worker-outer with possible competitions in the future. :) That's my plan right now.
One thing that has not changed is my early bedtime :) And if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know that since it's 8:30, that means it's almost my bedtime :) Stay in touch! I will do the same and keep you posted on thoughts I have swirling in my head about all of this fitness/nutrition stuff :) I also have some more pictures to share!
Happy Tuesday!
xoxo
Friday, September 24, 2010
LAST DAY!
24 hours from now, this whole journey will be coming to an end! I can't believe it! I mean, in a way I can because this has been an emotional, up and down, crazy, awesome, unbelievable 6+ months. I have learned so much more about fitness, nutrition, my will power, my frustrations, my cravings...myself...in these past few months. And tomorrow, all of the hard work and sacrifice culminates! I'm so excited! I'm not really nervous yet, I'm just anxious to hit the stage all tanned and bedazzled and stripper-esque :)
For fun, I documented my competition prep day/beautifying day for you all :) Now, I don't look exactly "beautiful" in these pictures but getting beautiful was the goal for the day :)
First, I got up (at 3:00am because apparently I am now an insomniac who wakes up with a racing brain...) and made all of my meals for competition day. I have a bag of dry foods (most of which are going to be consumed after the competition, like peanutbuttercuptrailmixomnomnomnom, cereal, granola etc.). Then, I will have a bag of refrigerated food--some of this is for the competition and some of it is healthy, clean food for me to eat after that my mommy made me (thanks mama xoxoxo). Here's a little view for you of what our dining room and fridge currently look like:
Then, my mom and I headed to the sauna. My coach said to go in for 7 minutes, then come out for 3 and repeat that cycle 3 times. It wasn't so bad, just, you know, hot.
Then,we headed to Target where I bought a pretty sweet nightgown that I could put on after my spray tan. I also got an oversize hoodie so I could wear that to the competition tomorrow morning. I heart Target, it's my happy place.
Then, off to the nail salon we went! Of course there was an entire bridal party there, but there were lots of people working there so it didn't take too long.
Then, I had to snap back to reality for a second and I remembered Greg and I were moving out of our house in ONE week! So, my mom and I went over to the new condo and took some measurements of the place. We couldn't stay long because I had to get back to the house and eat, shower, and shave (E.S.S) before going tanning. Here's a little sneak peak of our new living room!
Then, back to competition world it was! After a quick meal, I showered (my final shower until after the evening session tomorrow), shaved my...everything...and then quickly left to get my first coat of spray tan.
Here I am after my first coat of spray in my schweeeeet nightgown:
My mom and I packed up some things at my house and then headed back to the tanner for my second and final coat of spray tan. You'll have to wait for competition pictures to see just how freakishly dark I am right now ;) But don't worry, I'm still wearing my nightgown!
Tomorrow morning, at 5am, I will get my hair and make up done and then we will head to Richmond. Check in is at 10, athletes meeting is at noon, and the party gets started at 1:00. Finals begin at 6:00 and then I get to eat and relax and breathe and feel a final, wonderful feeling of completion.
All of you have been the best support group I could have ever asked for. I feel as though I have truly done everything I possibly could to be successful tomorrow. I know that without your constant encouragement I'm not sure I could've kept going. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your messages, cards, emails, texts, calls, words of encouragement, hugs, and understanding. I will definitely put pictures and a new blog post up as soon as possible. I won't be back in town until Sunday evening, but I will try to update Facebook if at all possible.
Thanks again! Talk to you after I strut my tan, bedazzled, stripper heel self across that stage! Here we go!!
For fun, I documented my competition prep day/beautifying day for you all :) Now, I don't look exactly "beautiful" in these pictures but getting beautiful was the goal for the day :)
First, I got up (at 3:00am because apparently I am now an insomniac who wakes up with a racing brain...) and made all of my meals for competition day. I have a bag of dry foods (most of which are going to be consumed after the competition, like peanutbuttercuptrailmixomnomnomnom, cereal, granola etc.). Then, I will have a bag of refrigerated food--some of this is for the competition and some of it is healthy, clean food for me to eat after that my mommy made me (thanks mama xoxoxo). Here's a little view for you of what our dining room and fridge currently look like:
 |
| Table with our dry foods |
 |
| We should own stock in Tupperware/Ziploc |
 | ||
| Greg is a master fridge organizer...no space is ever wasted! |
Then,we headed to Target where I bought a pretty sweet nightgown that I could put on after my spray tan. I also got an oversize hoodie so I could wear that to the competition tomorrow morning. I heart Target, it's my happy place.
Then, off to the nail salon we went! Of course there was an entire bridal party there, but there were lots of people working there so it didn't take too long.
 |
| Please notice that: a) I am in one of the most amazing massage chairs EVER and b) I am getting a manicure WHILE still soaking my feet from my pedicure...HEAVEN! I felt like a princess (although unshowered and wearing my PJs). |
 | |||
| The lovely bathroom wallpaper :) At least there are his and her sinks!! |
Here I am after my first coat of spray in my schweeeeet nightgown:
 | ||
| Yes, that's 6oz of fish I'm holding :) |
Tomorrow morning, at 5am, I will get my hair and make up done and then we will head to Richmond. Check in is at 10, athletes meeting is at noon, and the party gets started at 1:00. Finals begin at 6:00 and then I get to eat and relax and breathe and feel a final, wonderful feeling of completion.
All of you have been the best support group I could have ever asked for. I feel as though I have truly done everything I possibly could to be successful tomorrow. I know that without your constant encouragement I'm not sure I could've kept going. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your messages, cards, emails, texts, calls, words of encouragement, hugs, and understanding. I will definitely put pictures and a new blog post up as soon as possible. I won't be back in town until Sunday evening, but I will try to update Facebook if at all possible.
Thanks again! Talk to you after I strut my tan, bedazzled, stripper heel self across that stage! Here we go!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Day 139: Beautifying and life in the FINAL stretch!
In some ways, I cannot believe that in ONE week, from this moment, I will be in the Henrico Theater, tanned and bedazzled, getting ready to strut my stuff on stage. ONE week?! Holy Moly! This final week comes with some final tweakings--most of which to make me presentable on stage. I had my hair cut and highlighted this past week. Today, I'm having my make-up professionally done and then I'm going to have professional pictures taken in Charlottesville!! I'm excited to document this process that I've been through. The make-up artist is also going to teach me how to put on my make-up for the competition day. This week I'll be whitening my teeth, waxing...certain places..., tanning a couple more times in the bed and then spray tanning twice on Friday. I'll also get my nails done, not sure if I'm going to do both mani/pedi or just a pedi at the salon.
In between all of this beautifying, I also have this little thing called a JOB. I have to go to a class one afternoon this week after I teach and Thursday is Back-to-School Night where we meet all the families, so I'll be at school until almost 9:00pm that night...Like I said before, things like this remind me that there is so much more than just this competition and life has to go on!
My workouts and diet will change this week, not exactly sure how yet, but I think I'll be "drying" out/carb depleting for at least some of the days this week. One of my loyal readers (Hi Emily!) suggested I give you all a sample of what I'm currently eating and I thought that was a great idea! Here is what I have eaten for the past 2 weeks:
3 egg whites before I lift (if I lift in the morning)
meal 1: about 24g protein shake with 2 Tbs. cream of rice
meal 2: 2 oz. chicken, 2 oz. steak and 8 asparagus
meal 3: 2 cups of yellow/green/white veggies
meal 4: 3 oz. tuna with 8 asparagus and 1 Tbs. onions
meal 5: 1/3 cup quinoa (like rice), 4 oz. tilapia (or cod or flounder) and 40g red peppers
meal 6: 3 oz. tuna with 1 cup broccoli
**go back to gym after this meal**
meal 7: 1/2 cup brown rice, 4 oz. fish, and 1.5 oz (or 1/4 cup) pineapple
meal 8: 4 or 5 egg whites with 1 cup yellow/green/white veggies
-I can have 4 oz chicken later if I'm hungry, which I almost always am :) So, what do you think??
I sent my coach some pictures today so he can give me my final week's diet (including the day of the show) so here they are. My hair is wet because I had just taken a shower AND I'm in my bathing suit because the altered suit and my 2-piece suit STILL aren't here...argh!! Current weight: 114.0, have officially lost 30 pounds! Here are the pics, hopefully I can show you all the professional pics soon :) xoxo
In between all of this beautifying, I also have this little thing called a JOB. I have to go to a class one afternoon this week after I teach and Thursday is Back-to-School Night where we meet all the families, so I'll be at school until almost 9:00pm that night...Like I said before, things like this remind me that there is so much more than just this competition and life has to go on!
My workouts and diet will change this week, not exactly sure how yet, but I think I'll be "drying" out/carb depleting for at least some of the days this week. One of my loyal readers (Hi Emily!) suggested I give you all a sample of what I'm currently eating and I thought that was a great idea! Here is what I have eaten for the past 2 weeks:
3 egg whites before I lift (if I lift in the morning)
meal 1: about 24g protein shake with 2 Tbs. cream of rice
meal 2: 2 oz. chicken, 2 oz. steak and 8 asparagus
meal 3: 2 cups of yellow/green/white veggies
meal 4: 3 oz. tuna with 8 asparagus and 1 Tbs. onions
meal 5: 1/3 cup quinoa (like rice), 4 oz. tilapia (or cod or flounder) and 40g red peppers
meal 6: 3 oz. tuna with 1 cup broccoli
**go back to gym after this meal**
meal 7: 1/2 cup brown rice, 4 oz. fish, and 1.5 oz (or 1/4 cup) pineapple
meal 8: 4 or 5 egg whites with 1 cup yellow/green/white veggies
-I can have 4 oz chicken later if I'm hungry, which I almost always am :) So, what do you think??
I sent my coach some pictures today so he can give me my final week's diet (including the day of the show) so here they are. My hair is wet because I had just taken a shower AND I'm in my bathing suit because the altered suit and my 2-piece suit STILL aren't here...argh!! Current weight: 114.0, have officially lost 30 pounds! Here are the pics, hopefully I can show you all the professional pics soon :) xoxo
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Day 135: Priorities and Control
I have realized that one thing I do love about this whole process is that I have control over so many aspects of it. I can control what I put in my mouth. I can control how hard I work at the gym. I can control my schedule (most of the time) to make sure I'm eating and working out at the most opportune times. I never really realized how much I like being in control...maybe that's why I became a teacher :) I think as I worry about what will come after the competition, I become more controlling in other areas of my life. For example, I have become obsessed with keeping my car and room clean lately...because it's something I have complete control over. I have a box of books in my backseat and it's driving me BANANAS! I had never really been like that before. I like to know that there are certain, predicatable things that I can control. Some of this new controlling-ness, I think, comes from my fear that I will lose control after the competition. Right now everything is so specific, timed, and laid out. Eat, sleep, workout, eat, eat, eat, eat, workout, prepare food, sleep. I know the exact foods I'm supposed to eat, at the exact times, in the exact portions. It will be so odd to not have that routine and exactness that I have to follow each day and that scares me a little. I'm going to do a whole post on the question I get asked the most, "What are your plans for after the competition..." Will write that soon.
I have also realized, in the past 2-3 weeks, that this competition seemed like the end-all-be-all of my life for the whole summer. Not much else was as important and it always took priority. And then...my 20 fifth graders walked into my life :) And I remembered I have one of the most exhausting professions that there ever was. And my students deserve a teacher who is fully committed to them. I have quickly realized that, while I'm SO close to finishing this competition prep process, it unfortunately cannot be my only priority like it was all summer. Other things have to take priority as well. This realization has actually been a good thing for me because it has made me realize that regardless of what happens at the competition, life will, indeed, go on. While I've put in more than a ton of effort to get where I am now, and this is extremely important to me, I know that I will be OK no matter what--and other things in life will continue to go 'round :)
Those are my grand thoughts for the night :) Will update on plans for after the competition, my beautifying process for the competition :), my photo shoot on Saturday!! And will post pics as soon as my tailored suits arrive!! 11 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
I have also realized, in the past 2-3 weeks, that this competition seemed like the end-all-be-all of my life for the whole summer. Not much else was as important and it always took priority. And then...my 20 fifth graders walked into my life :) And I remembered I have one of the most exhausting professions that there ever was. And my students deserve a teacher who is fully committed to them. I have quickly realized that, while I'm SO close to finishing this competition prep process, it unfortunately cannot be my only priority like it was all summer. Other things have to take priority as well. This realization has actually been a good thing for me because it has made me realize that regardless of what happens at the competition, life will, indeed, go on. While I've put in more than a ton of effort to get where I am now, and this is extremely important to me, I know that I will be OK no matter what--and other things in life will continue to go 'round :)
Those are my grand thoughts for the night :) Will update on plans for after the competition, my beautifying process for the competition :), my photo shoot on Saturday!! And will post pics as soon as my tailored suits arrive!! 11 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Day 129: Is it over yet?!
Hi Everyone!
Sorry it's been so long since I've written! Life has been more than crazy lately! Greg and I are moving out of our current house in 2-3 weeks because our lease is up the weekend after the competition, so we're home hunting! I started back to teaching last week, today was my second day with my 5th graders, so that's another huge change! And, I am just, overall exhausted from life!
My current schedule is to get up between 4:45 and 5:15 (depending on the cardio program), go to the gym, get ready for school (food is prepared the night before), teach from 8:30-3:10, work at school until about 4:00ish, back to the gym to lift and do more cardio, eat, prepare food for the next day, rinse, and repeat. In between there, I'm trying to find time to tan, go to the grocery store numerous times a week, go see apartments, and maybe get some school work in there...oh and try to hang out with my friends and Greg :) The only possible way that I am keeping up with this schedule is because I know there are only 2 weeks and 3 days left...the countdown has officially begun (OK, so it began a looooong time ago, but now it's serious business :) )
People keep asking me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling and really my answer depends on the A) the time of day or B) whether or not I've eaten recently. Most of the time I feel alright. Exhausted and lethargic some, but overall pretty good. A lot of my troubles/negative moments are mental...I think that I think about the whole process too much and it starts to make me get negative about things. I think things like, "Why am I doing this? I can't wait to eat like a normal person. I'm so hungry. I don't want to go back to the gym..." Once I get to the gym, I'm fine. Once I realize I made it through another day doing the best I possibly could, I'm fine. I would not say that I am currently enjoying this whole thing, but I really want to reach this goal that I set out to achieve. What comes after this? I have no idea. What happens the day after? I eat, that's all I know :)
I have to say, honestly, I am really excited to be done with this intense process. I have learned a lot and I want to maintain certain aspects of all of this, but this intensity is not something I can sustain, and I wouldn't want to even if I could. I can honestly say I don't think I'm as happy doing this as when I wasn't. Maybe it's because I've done this for 20 weeks, which is longer than a lot of people. Maybe it's because I have a lot going on in my life at the moment and it's just too much. Maybe it's because I've attended a lot of events/gone out to restaurants a lot to watch people eat. I don't know. But I'm taking it day by day and I will reach this goal. There's no turning back now!
So, I met with my posing coach on Saturday and it was the best session we ever had. She helped me so much, gave me such great pointers, and gave me some more confidence that I definitely needed. She did tell me I would probably be docked judging points for my lack of muscularity (we all knew that though, huh? :) ), but we both know I'm doing the best I can with this body and this diet! That is the last time I will see my posing coach before the competition, which is scary, but she has helped me so much, I really do feel confident that I can handle this now.
Lastly...before the pictures :)...tanning...dun dun dun (I will have to do a whole post on this soon...lots of details to share). So, I stopped by the air brush spray tanner and she sprayed me (I think about 2 weeks ago). She was probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. So sweet! During and after the spray, we both quickly realized that a spray was not going to cover up my tan lines and something else needed to be done...I know, I know...I always said I would never get in a tanning bed, but it is really the only option. I decided that after 6 months of hard work, I really don't want to let something as silly as tan lines prevent me from doing well in the competition. I figure if I tan in moderation, all will be OK. I've gone a couple times and it seems to be working slowly, so hopefully it will help blend my lines enough before I get my final competition color spray tan the Friday before the show.
It's approaching 9pm, which, you know what that means...MY BED!!!! Ohhh how I love my bed :) Here are my most recent pictures taken in the 1-piece suit I will be wearing in the competition (after it gets altered a little). I should be receiving my altered 1-piece AND my 2-piece by early next week, so I will definitely put up some pictures then! Thanks for the many kind words of encouragement and I hope you enjoy the pics :)
Sorry it's been so long since I've written! Life has been more than crazy lately! Greg and I are moving out of our current house in 2-3 weeks because our lease is up the weekend after the competition, so we're home hunting! I started back to teaching last week, today was my second day with my 5th graders, so that's another huge change! And, I am just, overall exhausted from life!
My current schedule is to get up between 4:45 and 5:15 (depending on the cardio program), go to the gym, get ready for school (food is prepared the night before), teach from 8:30-3:10, work at school until about 4:00ish, back to the gym to lift and do more cardio, eat, prepare food for the next day, rinse, and repeat. In between there, I'm trying to find time to tan, go to the grocery store numerous times a week, go see apartments, and maybe get some school work in there...oh and try to hang out with my friends and Greg :) The only possible way that I am keeping up with this schedule is because I know there are only 2 weeks and 3 days left...the countdown has officially begun (OK, so it began a looooong time ago, but now it's serious business :) )
People keep asking me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling and really my answer depends on the A) the time of day or B) whether or not I've eaten recently. Most of the time I feel alright. Exhausted and lethargic some, but overall pretty good. A lot of my troubles/negative moments are mental...I think that I think about the whole process too much and it starts to make me get negative about things. I think things like, "Why am I doing this? I can't wait to eat like a normal person. I'm so hungry. I don't want to go back to the gym..." Once I get to the gym, I'm fine. Once I realize I made it through another day doing the best I possibly could, I'm fine. I would not say that I am currently enjoying this whole thing, but I really want to reach this goal that I set out to achieve. What comes after this? I have no idea. What happens the day after? I eat, that's all I know :)
I have to say, honestly, I am really excited to be done with this intense process. I have learned a lot and I want to maintain certain aspects of all of this, but this intensity is not something I can sustain, and I wouldn't want to even if I could. I can honestly say I don't think I'm as happy doing this as when I wasn't. Maybe it's because I've done this for 20 weeks, which is longer than a lot of people. Maybe it's because I have a lot going on in my life at the moment and it's just too much. Maybe it's because I've attended a lot of events/gone out to restaurants a lot to watch people eat. I don't know. But I'm taking it day by day and I will reach this goal. There's no turning back now!
So, I met with my posing coach on Saturday and it was the best session we ever had. She helped me so much, gave me such great pointers, and gave me some more confidence that I definitely needed. She did tell me I would probably be docked judging points for my lack of muscularity (we all knew that though, huh? :) ), but we both know I'm doing the best I can with this body and this diet! That is the last time I will see my posing coach before the competition, which is scary, but she has helped me so much, I really do feel confident that I can handle this now.
Lastly...before the pictures :)...tanning...dun dun dun (I will have to do a whole post on this soon...lots of details to share). So, I stopped by the air brush spray tanner and she sprayed me (I think about 2 weeks ago). She was probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. So sweet! During and after the spray, we both quickly realized that a spray was not going to cover up my tan lines and something else needed to be done...I know, I know...I always said I would never get in a tanning bed, but it is really the only option. I decided that after 6 months of hard work, I really don't want to let something as silly as tan lines prevent me from doing well in the competition. I figure if I tan in moderation, all will be OK. I've gone a couple times and it seems to be working slowly, so hopefully it will help blend my lines enough before I get my final competition color spray tan the Friday before the show.
It's approaching 9pm, which, you know what that means...MY BED!!!! Ohhh how I love my bed :) Here are my most recent pictures taken in the 1-piece suit I will be wearing in the competition (after it gets altered a little). I should be receiving my altered 1-piece AND my 2-piece by early next week, so I will definitely put up some pictures then! Thanks for the many kind words of encouragement and I hope you enjoy the pics :)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day 119: Love/Hate in the Homestretch
3 weeks and 6 days to go...can you believe it?! Some days that seems so far, and some days I can't believe it's so close.
I've been busy the last week or so trying to get my life in order before the school year starts. My parents, who are officially the best people on the planet (heyyyy mama!), came up to DC for a few days and helped me get my life together. My mom and I set up my classroom, went through all my old clothes (got rid of 7 bags of clothes!!!), shopped for some new replacement clothes :), got my oil changed, etc., etc...just the little things in life that add up! And yes, I'm almost 27 (in 8 days!) and I still very much need my parents :). Greg and I also went to a beautiful wedding this weekend for his best friend. It was a nice, final summer week.
All of these activities got me thinking (more) about this whole competition prep and how I truly have a love/hate relationship with the whole situation.
I love the way my body looks, I love that my cardio endurance is the best its ever been, I love that people notice how hard I've worked, I love that I feel strong and confident, I love that I set a goal and am reaching it, I love that I have more discipline and dedication than even I realized.
I hate that I haven't felt full in about 5 months, I hate that I feel lame at social events because all I want to do is sit down and rest my legs, I hate that I haven't gotten my period in 3 months and my body just knows that something is off, I hate that the diet and fatigue alter my moods so easily, I hate that sometimes I just don't feel like myself but more like a robot on auto-pilot.
I guess in a dream world, I would be able to prepare for this competition and keep up my "normal," exciting social life where my every thought wasn't about when I eat next, or how hungry I am, or how my head hurts because I'm hungry, or doubting that I'll be ready, or feeling as though I can't really be in the moment of what's happening because I'm just so overwhelemed by this whole process.
Here is a little sample of what our hotel room looked like during our 48-hour stay for the wedding this weekend:
Let me just add that it took Greg 3 hours to prepare his meals and me about an hour for a TWO day trip...just a glimpse :)
To say that Greg and I have made sacrifices during this whole process is the understatement of 2010.
But to say that this will be one of my greatest accomplishments thus far in my life will also be a huge understatement. Some days I hate that it takes so many sacrifices, but other days I am just so freaking proud of everything we've accomplished that I have to realize that those sacrifices (at least at this point in life) are so worth it. Some days I hate it--hate it all. Some days I love it. And some days I hate that I love it because it would be so much easier to just quit and go get some mint chocolate chip ice cream :)
I got my first spray tan today...will update about that tomorrow!
xoxo
I've been busy the last week or so trying to get my life in order before the school year starts. My parents, who are officially the best people on the planet (heyyyy mama!), came up to DC for a few days and helped me get my life together. My mom and I set up my classroom, went through all my old clothes (got rid of 7 bags of clothes!!!), shopped for some new replacement clothes :), got my oil changed, etc., etc...just the little things in life that add up! And yes, I'm almost 27 (in 8 days!) and I still very much need my parents :). Greg and I also went to a beautiful wedding this weekend for his best friend. It was a nice, final summer week.
All of these activities got me thinking (more) about this whole competition prep and how I truly have a love/hate relationship with the whole situation.
I love the way my body looks, I love that my cardio endurance is the best its ever been, I love that people notice how hard I've worked, I love that I feel strong and confident, I love that I set a goal and am reaching it, I love that I have more discipline and dedication than even I realized.
I hate that I haven't felt full in about 5 months, I hate that I feel lame at social events because all I want to do is sit down and rest my legs, I hate that I haven't gotten my period in 3 months and my body just knows that something is off, I hate that the diet and fatigue alter my moods so easily, I hate that sometimes I just don't feel like myself but more like a robot on auto-pilot.
I guess in a dream world, I would be able to prepare for this competition and keep up my "normal," exciting social life where my every thought wasn't about when I eat next, or how hungry I am, or how my head hurts because I'm hungry, or doubting that I'll be ready, or feeling as though I can't really be in the moment of what's happening because I'm just so overwhelemed by this whole process.
Here is a little sample of what our hotel room looked like during our 48-hour stay for the wedding this weekend:
 |
| 3 of our 4 coolers/lunch bags needed to carry our food |
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| Our hotel mini-fridge packed with a FRACTION of our food |
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| Our food scale, supplements, etc. |
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| Some of the Tupperware I washed in our bathroom sink after our first day away from home. |
 | ||||
| The lids...and the $1 soap I got at the Dollar General :) |
To say that Greg and I have made sacrifices during this whole process is the understatement of 2010.
But to say that this will be one of my greatest accomplishments thus far in my life will also be a huge understatement. Some days I hate that it takes so many sacrifices, but other days I am just so freaking proud of everything we've accomplished that I have to realize that those sacrifices (at least at this point in life) are so worth it. Some days I hate it--hate it all. Some days I love it. And some days I hate that I love it because it would be so much easier to just quit and go get some mint chocolate chip ice cream :)
I got my first spray tan today...will update about that tomorrow!
xoxo
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Day 108: 25 Things
25 Fitness/Food Things You May Not Know About Me (or care to know):
(This is inspired by US Weekly's celebrity column they do where the celebrity tells 25 things about themselves that others may not know...I like to pretend I'm a celebrity :) )
1. My all-time favorite food in this world is Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream.
2. I have owned Nike, Brooks, Mizuno, Saucony, Asic, and Puma tennis shoes and I still really have no idea which brand I like the best.
3. I wear my workout pants an average of 3-4 times before washing them...kinda gross, I know, but otherwise I'd be doing laundry every darn day.
4. I like all fruits except for blackberries and raspberries because of the seeds that get stuck in my teeth.
5. I like to read magazines while stepping, walking on the treadmill, or biking, but I can't read while I do the elliptical or while I run.
6. I cannot do cardio without my ipod. I just physically can't.
7. My favorite food combination is peanut butter with chocolate...looooove sweet and salty mix!
8. My favorite lift each week is usually back or shoulders.
9. My least favorite lift each week is usually legs and I really don't like doing abs.
10. My favorite fitness/health magazine is Oyxgen Magazine. I read it cover to cover when it comes in the mail.
11. My ideal cardio situation is when I can watch and listen to the Today show while reading either People Magazine or US Weekly. This makes cardio much easier.
12. I still can't decide what I should eat right after my show...but I'm leaning towards some or all of the following: peanut butter and jelly on a gluten-free roll, baked Lays, trail mix, gluten-free pizza, fruit salad...any other suggestions?
13. I very rarely wear underwear when I work out. I hate swamp ass in my underwear.
14. When I need to push through a cardio/lifting workout, I turn my ipod to: Eminem, T.I., Miley Cyrus (hehe), or Rocky songs.
15. While some people think it's gross, I would like to have a visible vein showing in my arm (bicep/shoulder region) by the end of my training :)
16. I have not had a sip of alcohol or a dessert since April 25th. Honestly, I'm a little scared to put both back into my life since it's been so long.
17. After I complete the competition, regardless of the results, I would like to treat myself to a pair of designer jeans. AndbytreatmyselfImeanGregcanbuythemforme.
18. I eventually want to cut fake sugar out of my diet but I have a hard time with that. Right now I have it in my Crystal Light drinks, my flavored water drinks, and my gum/mints. It's hard to get rid of it!
19. I would like to complete an olympic distance triathlon in the near future.
20. The 2 things I'm the most worried about with my competition are the tanning and walking/tripping/falling in my heels.
21. I pee at least 1 time an hour. Sometimes I hold it so long that by the time I get to the toilet, I start peeing before my butt lands on the seat hahaha.
22. I would love to write a fitness/nutrition column for a magazine on the side. I would also love to become a dietitian or nutritionist but that's a lot more schooling!
23. One of my other life dreams is to own a training studio/small gym with Greg.
24. I think the most important thing I've learned about food through all of this is to weigh and/or measure everything you eat! Digital food scales are my best friends!!
25. Greg and I just bought...wait for it...22.5 DOZEN eggs at Costco and that will last us for 12 days. I usually spend about $700/month (at the VERY least) on groceries...fresh produce and meat ain't cheap!
Now you know way too much about me :)
xoxo
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 107: Bootylicious Cardio
After I sent my diet/workout creator my most recent pictures, including this one,:
I got a few funny/motivating emails from him. I had asked him what he thought of my progress based on my most recent pictures and this was his reply, and I quote:
"Thx for the pics, upper body looks like it will be no problem.
Legs and booty will need to come down hard to give you a balanced look. You have time and the plan is in place. Work hard and it will happen."
This left me with a few thoughts:
1) I was SO glad to finally hear some kind of update on my progress- both positive and negative. It was nice to hear that I was moving in the right direction and get a clearer picture of what needed work. My upper body has always been stronger and leaner than my lower body, but it was nice for someone to get my ass (no pun intended) in gear.
2) Is my ass really that big?! And if so, why did nobody tell me?! Thanks friends! ;)
3) I think the tan lines and the cut of the suit make my ass look larger than usual, no? I mean, daaaamn, it looks like I've got some junk in the trunk, and that pic makes my ass look even bigger than I thought!
I had to ask this same diet/workout creator a question about my workouts that he sent and after he answered my question, he ended with, and I quote:
"As long as that booty come down, all will be well."
Um. I think I got the message loud and clear that my booty is...err...bootylicious? I know that he just wants my body to look proportionate (meaning my legs and butt aren't significantly bigger than my upper body) and I got that message for sure!
I had to laugh at these comments because I love this man's honesty. It is so refreshing. I would rather him tell me things like that every day rather than just telling me I look alright. And I have to say, those 2 comments have motivated me so much. On Sunday, I didn't want to do a double, and I thought about his comments, and got my ass (again, no pun intended) into my workout pants and to the gym. Today when I was doing my cardio I was able to push myself harder knowing that I was working to improve a specific part of my body. Small goals really help me keep going in tough moments.
My cardio for the next few weeks definitely reflects my need to "bring my booty down." The cardio programs are lots of stepping, running, incline walking, lunging...essentially anything that makes my hamstrings, quads, and glutes burn like they are EN FUEGO! And I love it. I've wanted to improve the look of my legs for a long time and I know that these cardio sessions will work over time. I'm excited to make my butt more bootylicious for those judges in FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!
PS - I have officially lost 23.5 pounds! Current weight is 120.5! So close!
xoxo
I had to laugh at these comments because I love this man's honesty. It is so refreshing. I would rather him tell me things like that every day rather than just telling me I look alright. And I have to say, those 2 comments have motivated me so much. On Sunday, I didn't want to do a double, and I thought about his comments, and got my ass (again, no pun intended) into my workout pants and to the gym. Today when I was doing my cardio I was able to push myself harder knowing that I was working to improve a specific part of my body. Small goals really help me keep going in tough moments.
My cardio for the next few weeks definitely reflects my need to "bring my booty down." The cardio programs are lots of stepping, running, incline walking, lunging...essentially anything that makes my hamstrings, quads, and glutes burn like they are EN FUEGO! And I love it. I've wanted to improve the look of my legs for a long time and I know that these cardio sessions will work over time. I'm excited to make my butt more bootylicious for those judges in FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!
PS - I have officially lost 23.5 pounds! Current weight is 120.5! So close!
xoxo
Friday, August 13, 2010
Day 103: GTP: Gym, Tanning, Posing
Tomorrow marks SIX weeks until my first ever figure competition. In some ways that seems so far, but in most other ways it seems so, so close! I have spent this week lifting, doing cardio, eating, posing, practicing walking in stripper shoes, napping, peeing, and trying to control my thoughts that often run wild.
I'm down to 122.5 lbs now. I have lost a total of 21.5 lbs so far. My moods and thoughts have been all over the place. My brain usually sounds something like this at any given time (no joke): "OMG I'm so tired, I don't know if I can get up this morning. Maybe I can lift later in the day. When's my next meal? Do I need to go to the grocery store again today? Shit, I gotta pee AGAIN. Is this really worth it? Am I going to make a complete fool of myself at this competition? Did I take all my supplments today? Mmmm what should I eat right after the competition? I should practice my posing. Shit, I gotta pee AGAIN. Come on, 15 more minutes of carido, you can do it, then it's dinner time. OMG I get 1 tablespoon of peanut butter today. How am I going to work full time and still keep this up for the last 4 weeks? Was this a bad idea?.....you get the idea.
Sometimes, I feel great, motivated, energetic, positive. And within minutes, I can be on the verge of tears, doubting myself, criticizing everything, exhausted. It's usually the little things that get to me and I spin into negative town...It can be hunger, knee pain, dizziness when I stand up because I'm hungry, can't sleep because of knee pain or constant peeing, can't get warm EVER...but usually once I get food and a nap, I'm back on track. Just like a baby, except in stipper heels.
Speaking of heels. I know you all have been eagerly awaiting a picture of my new sparkly, bedazzled 4 and 3/4 inch babies. So without further adieu, here they are:
I'm down to 122.5 lbs now. I have lost a total of 21.5 lbs so far. My moods and thoughts have been all over the place. My brain usually sounds something like this at any given time (no joke): "OMG I'm so tired, I don't know if I can get up this morning. Maybe I can lift later in the day. When's my next meal? Do I need to go to the grocery store again today? Shit, I gotta pee AGAIN. Is this really worth it? Am I going to make a complete fool of myself at this competition? Did I take all my supplments today? Mmmm what should I eat right after the competition? I should practice my posing. Shit, I gotta pee AGAIN. Come on, 15 more minutes of carido, you can do it, then it's dinner time. OMG I get 1 tablespoon of peanut butter today. How am I going to work full time and still keep this up for the last 4 weeks? Was this a bad idea?.....you get the idea.
Sometimes, I feel great, motivated, energetic, positive. And within minutes, I can be on the verge of tears, doubting myself, criticizing everything, exhausted. It's usually the little things that get to me and I spin into negative town...It can be hunger, knee pain, dizziness when I stand up because I'm hungry, can't sleep because of knee pain or constant peeing, can't get warm EVER...but usually once I get food and a nap, I'm back on track. Just like a baby, except in stipper heels.
Speaking of heels. I know you all have been eagerly awaiting a picture of my new sparkly, bedazzled 4 and 3/4 inch babies. So without further adieu, here they are:
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| Just take a minute to admire the sparkles :) |
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| Oh hello bedazzled pedicure IN the bedazzled heels! |
I met with my posing coach this week and she let me try on one of her old 1-piece suits. It fit, except for the chest (my babies are long gone...) but I can get inserts to puff them right back up :) The posing session went well, I think. We worked on my turns and my walk and we discussed tanning.... This seems to be the biggest issue right now because I have some of the WORST tan lines one has ever seen. DON'T judge when you see me in this suit....it's bad! My coach told me to run, not walk, to the nearest tanning bed to even it out but I am TERRIFIED of the tanning bed. I just don't feel right about doing something so dangerous when I've worked so hard to be healthy in this whole process. So, I'm in the process of working on fixing the tan lines...will update with progress.
Here are a few pictures in the 1-piece suit and my bikini. I'm also putting up 2 links to videos that my coach took of me posing and walking...here goes nothin'
And now the videos:
So...I think I'm making progress (except for getting rid of the tan lines). I just need to stay in it mentally, stay positive, and keep working hard! If anyone wants the ordering info. for these awesome, bedazzled shoes, just let me know ;)
Thanks again for all your support! SIX MORE WEEKS!!!!
xoxo
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